I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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