Sponge bath it is.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
