Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
