I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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