Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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