Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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