Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
