new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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