Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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