Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
