He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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