chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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