i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
