Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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