im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
