yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
