That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
