i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am mentally ready for anal.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
