Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
