I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
