Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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