Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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