I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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