WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
