Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
