): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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