I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
