does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
