Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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