apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
