actually, I'm a sock model
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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