i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
