More tranny stories later!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
