I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
