an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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