He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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