Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
