I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
