I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
