i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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