I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
where does the pee come out of this thing
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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