i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
