Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
