I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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