I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
