it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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