it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
