i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Pants are for mortals
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
