don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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