Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
