I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
