I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
