I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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