i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
